Paula

I was starving when I finished my grocery shop yesterday, so I decided to sit outside Whole Foods for some snacks before the journey home. I took the only available chair, between two occupied tables.

"Are those cashew peanuts?" I heard in my left ear. I turned to the lady at the table. She had stand-up, short, gray hair and two of the widest, bulging bug-eyes I'd ever seen.
"Yeah, they're cashews."
"Oh, I used to love cashew peanuts." I was about to offer her some, when she continued, "I can't eat them now because I don't have any teeth."
"Oh, yeah I guess that makes sense," I replied. "Do you live around here?"
"Over in the elderly housing there. Well, other people can live there too, ya know, it's low-income type housing."
"Well, it's nice that you have a good market so close."
"Yeah, I can't walk too fah 'cause I have a degenerative disease in my spine. The doctahs wanted to put me on that OxyContin, but I don't wanna be takin' that stuff, so I just do the Vicodin now that the Codeine doesn't work no more."
"Yeah, that's strong stuff. Do they give you a ride over here then?"
"Yeah, I got the ride. It's good now [that] I gave up drivin'." She lit a cigarette. "So ya bring that food with you or ya buy it here?"
"Oh, I just got a bunch of groceries. I've got a whole bagful in there," I said, gesturing to my bag. "We needed some ingredients to make dinner."
"Oh. You and ya boyfriend?"
"Yeah."
"Does he cook, too?"
"Yep."
"And how long ya been goin with this guy?"
"About two and a half years."
"Uh huh. And does he ride a bike, too?"
"Yeah." I had switched from cashews to an apple by this time.
"You're sure eatin' a lot for someone who's about to make dinnah!" she laughed. "You're gonna spoil you're appetite."
"Well, I think it'll be a few hours before we eat dinner."
"Yeah. Well, I lost five pounds. I been on these meds that gimme such an appetite, it's like ya want seconds before ya even finish ya first plate! So ya go off those, ya lose some weight, and then ya gain it right back! I wanted ta quit smokin', and my daughtah tells me, 'Ma, ya can't quit smokin' and lose weight all at once. Ya gotta do one atta time.' "
"Right, that's a lot for your body to adjust to all at once."
"Yeah. But you don't gotta worry about ya weight. You look good."
"Well, I keep active. I ride my bike everywhere and do yoga, so I get lots of exercise."
"Yeah that's good. Yoga's where ya on the floor and ya move ya legs around this and that?" She crossed her arms over her chest and gestured with her legs.
"Yeah, kinda."
"And does it hurt?"
"Yup, sometimes."
"But it's supposed ta be relaxing, isn't it? Like a meditation?"
"Yeah. It's like a meditation."
"So ya pray in there?"
"Um, I suppose you could."
" 'Cause it's like a meditation, the teacher tells ya what ta do?"
"Yeah, exactly."

She told me they had yoga classes at the senior center, but that she couldn't participate because of her legs. I would have thought her spine would be the issue, but she didn't mention it. She wanted to know if I went to school. She couldn't believe that I was out of grad school and twenty years old. "You gotta baby face, dear, that's good!" Then she started asking questions about my experience with music.

"Do ya write songs, too then? Write your own music?"
"Not really. My boyfriend does."
"Oh, he does!" Her face lit up. "Did he write you a song then?"
"Yeah, he did!"
"And was it pretty?"
"It was beautiful."
"And did ya sing it?"
"Yeah we played it together."
"Isn't that somethin'." She looked down at the sidewalk for a moment.
"That's how we met actually. He wrote a song and he needed a soprano."
"He needed a soprano! And outta alla them he picks you!" She started to giggle. She was tickled. "How romaaantic."

And then I heard another voice from a cloud of smoke to my right say, "How romantic!" I turned, realizing there'd been another silent participant in the conversation. She was a woman around 40, and her skin was weathered to match her voice - both had endured a lifetime of smoke inhalation. Her oily black hair was pulled back tightly into a bun, with a few stray strands sticking to her ears and cheek. She wore hospitality scrubs - a splatter-painted white top and solid navy on bottom.

"So ya gonna marry the guy?" asked the woman on the right.
"Maybe. I don't know if I wanna get married," I replied.
"What'd she ask ya?" asked Paula from my left.
"She wanted to know if I'm gonna marry my boyfriend."
"Are ya scared?" asked the younger woman. "I used ta be terrified of marriage."
"So are you married now?" I asked.
"No. I never did get married. I'm still terrified of marriage." She laughed a little, which made her cough. I turned back to Paula.
"Were you married?" I asked her.
"Yeah. But not for long. He was abusive. I got outta there."
"Good for you," I replied.
"Ya never know what they're like until ya live with 'em. In those days, ya didn't live with 'em when ya were dating 'em. Nowadays they just live with their boyfriends when they're dating 'em! But ya know, I have a daughter. She came in from New Hampshire this morning with my grandkids."
"Aw, I bet that was fun!" I said.
"Uh huh." Then she began the proud litany of introducing her grandkids. She knew it so well that she made the kids' ages sound like part of their names. "Jeffrey 13 plays trumpet in the mahching band, Jenna 9 just had her ice skating lesson yesterday, and little Rob - ya know my daughtah didn't know he was comin'! She says, 'Ma, I'm pregnant again, and we didn't even plan it.' I says, 'Hon, don't you worry, this is wonderful, I'm so happy for you.' And sure enough, he's almost two now and he's into everything! It's just incredible..." She trailed off into more wide-eyed chuckles.
"It's wonderful that they come to see you down here," I said.
"Yep. Well, it's quartah of five, aren't ya scared to ride in traffic?"
"No, I'll be alright. But I should get going and wash this sand off," I replied, gathering my stuff.
"Alright, well I hope I see you again," said Paula.
"Me too," I said, shaking her hand and taking another mental picture of those huge gray eyes. "Take care, Paula."
"Okay, you, too! I'm gonna go in and buy some cherries."

She tossed her cigarette and leaned into her walker. I unlocked my bike and waved goodbye.