Headed to Harvard

When the train pulled up in Park Street the other day, the doors opened to release a screaming twenty-something white man in an underwear T-Shirt.

"WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME!?" He screamed and sprinted out the doors. A few other people followed him out, one of which was a Korean man in a starchy white dress shirt and an MBTA badge.

I was relieved that this guy was leaving the car I was boarding. When we pulled into the next station, however, he appeared again just before the doors closed, and sprinted back in. Apparently he was dodging from car to car.

"STOP FOLLOWING ME!" His voice broke when he yelled; he sounded like a singer in a hardcore band. This time nobody entered behind him, and I wondered for a moment if he wasn't just hallucinating and paranoid. People made way as he paced up and down the train, and his voice softened while he pleaded between sobs.

"Please will somebody help me? I'm goin' outta my mind here, people... I got this fuckin' MBTA guy followin' me... Please I... Oh sorry, I see you got kids - I'm not tryin' ta be freaky or somethin', I just need some help! This guy's followin' me like a weirdo. Please, somebody just help me." There was a clear stream running from his nose, and he wiped the moisture around his eyes with a bundled up tote bag.

We all stared at the space in front of our feet while he cried on and on. Nobody said anything. Nobody asked what was wrong with him, what he needed help with. The girl across from me raised her hand to her forehead as if she needed to block the sun from the guy's direction. At one point I heard him mutter something about a drug program, but mostly he just kept asking for help. "There's so many people, I just don't understand why someone won't help me..." I wanted to be that someone. I wanted to help. But I was paralyzed.

When we pulled into the next station, the MBTA agent walked slowly up to our car, and the crying guy ran out, wailing again."I gotta go to Harvard, but I'm leavin' now 'cause you won't stop following me! And I can't afford to get back on! But I'm leavin', okay!?"

The agent strolled wordlessly after him, and we rolled on toward Harvard without them.