Freegan

Last weekend I was approached by three people in yellow T-shirts while I waited on my bike for the red light to change.

"Give the lady biker a free T-Shirt!" said one of them.

"Yeah! Please do!" I said. I really, really love free stuff.

"I'm gonna give the lady biker a flower, too!" said another.

"Okay!" I said, awkwardly failing to open my messenger bag.

"Excellent. We'll even help you put them in this bag," said the man with the flowers.

"Wow! What service. This is so great. Also, please don't steal my wallet while your back there." I knew my wallet was well-buried in the secret pocket, but you can't be too careful when a stranger is digging through your bag.

"I wouldn't do that. I'll just put it on top here," he said, opening the flap of my bag as the light turned back to red.

"I trust you," I said in my Rose-from-Titanic voice.

"Hah, okay, well I trust you too," he laughed. "Oh look, lunch! You're all ready to go now," he said and closed my bag.

"Good, because I've got a big day ahead of me."

"Well, enjoy it!"

"I will now - thanks guys!" I said and pedaled away toward work.

When I got to the studio, it was like Christmas opening my bag. The T-shirt is ginormous; I think it's an XXXL, and it says "All you care about is my sperm." It's perfect. I put the flower on the countertop, as a kind of 'pay it forward' gesture.

Here's a plug for the nice folks at http://increaseyourchances.org/. Thanks for the T-shirt and flowers and the best five minutes of my weekend.